I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
