I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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