She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
