Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
