O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
