i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
