And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
