In the future we'll all be gay
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
