I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
