you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
