just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
