Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
