butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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