Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Please, let me fuck your mom
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
