i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
