Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
