I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
