This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
