god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
how drunk are you?
Several
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
