I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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