i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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