She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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