Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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