If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
