This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
