I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize