Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
