I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
