got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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