Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
PANTIES FOUND
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
