he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
