She announced her abortion via fbk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize