i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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