Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
