I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
