i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
