We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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