she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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