STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
