Do vagina's smell?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize