I wanna passion pit in your ass
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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