That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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