Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
