we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
