We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
