Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
