Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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