if only i could text you this smell
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
