and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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