My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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