Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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