omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We have so much sex to catch up on
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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