so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
