...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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