i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
