A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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