I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
