Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize