And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
