So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
