Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
