I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
