Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
